Inspired by the Devil’s Dictionary, I’ve created and compiled some terms that may need some explaining.
Astrologorrhea
n. The unavoidable compulsion to discuss one’s life in relation to star sign or chart.
Camp
v. In Pagan terms, to tear down one’s house and re-assemble it inside tent.
Dischord
n. Sound heard during group singing when one or more Pagans mistakenly believe can sing harmony.
Gothan
n. They wear black on the outside, as black as Raven Grimassi tells them they feel on inside.
Groven
n. A group which is half Wiccan coven, half Druid grove.
Hi Priestess/Priest
n. Someone who starts coven with the express purpose of finding friends. Can sometimes turn into a Ho Priest/ess if s/he isn’t careful.
Homeoapathy
n. Strong indifference the medicinal uses of herbs and healing plants.
Ho Priest/ess
n. Someone who starts coven with the express purpose of sexual conquest. High turnover and sexual jealousy are usual outcomes – sometimes STDs.
Interpretive Danse Macabre
n. Arrhythmic movement set perilously close to music, usually inspired by beer or Meed, and usually found in or near a Pagan festival.
Meed
n. Beverage brewed from honey with the magical ability to summon one’s inner Attention Whore.
Native Americcan
n. A Pagan of purely European descent who attunes at bit too closely the indigenous faiths of North America. Symptoms include: wearing dark t-shirts decorated with wolves, horses or Kokopelii, indiscriminate dream-catcher usage in home and auto, and fry bread addiction. In extreme cases, sufferers have “rediscover” their Native American names, resulting in overabundance of pale, middle-aged, overweight men named “Running Wolf” or “Spirit Warrior” without hint of irony.
Nicksation
n. State of some Pagans the leads believe at twirling and spinning, playing tambourines and wearing gauzy, sheer dresses brings closer to Gods. See also Interpretive Danse Macabre
Oracular Disjunction
n. Casting runes (or Tarot, or sheep’s teeth) to decide if one should cast runes (or Tarot, or sheep’s teeth).
Psychosomatopomp
n. at being who leads one the Land of Imagined Life-threatening Ailments
Rowlplay
v. to merge the fictional world of Harry Potter with Pagan spirituality, resulting in questionable acts like referring to non-Pagans as “Muggles” and exclaiming things like “Merlin’s Beard!”
Scryentologist
n. One who blends Paganism and modern day cult practices at seamless tapestry of crazy.